Miss Marple beats Tulisa Contostavlos as world’s sexiest woman

Singer Tulisa Contostavlos has been beaten by Miss Marple in I’m A Steroid Riddled Freak Who Lives With Mummy magazine’s top 100 sexiest women.

Jonathan Pump from IASRFWLWM mag told Joe Bloggs Times. “It was the shawl that did it for most of our readers although a few were more interested in her ability to solve crime with false teeth which makes her very sexy.”

Tulisa who (is devastated and taking time out from judging people more talented than herself on a talent show) recently admitted to performing a sex act on a former boyfriend was outdone by a secret video of Miss Marple in a compromising position with a custard cream biscuit.

Miss Marple said to Joe Bloggs Times “I was simple saving it for later”.

The elderly part time detective was due to commit to a 1920s swimwear photo shoot for I’m A Steroid Riddled Freak Who Lives With Mummy magazine in time for her summer cloths collection to promote her new fashion label  ‘Gravy Stainers‘, however she was whisked away to a Greek Island to investigate the death of an old friend who mysteriously dropped dead aged 109.

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