David Cameron is Peppa Pig’s father

Downing Street David Cameron (PD)

In bizarre love triangle DNA results have confirmed that Prime Minister, David Cameron, is Peppa Pig’s father

An embarrassed Mummy Pig has gone into hiding after the revelations of her tryst with David Cameron were printed in a new book by Mr Cat, who is also said to have had carnal knowledge with Mummy Pig and David Cameron.

Mr Cat said “Thank goodness it wasn’t me, I was bricking it when the DNA results first came in after a swab was taken from one of my whiskers.

Luckily Mrs Cat has taken me back after she booted me out of our marital basket and we are now in counseling with the aim to work things out.

She has forgiven me for my affair with Mummy Pig but she still cannot accept the fact that I was perverted enough to sleep with Cameron.

A very depressed Daddy Pig is unavailable for comment and was last seen rolling in puddle of mud with a bottle of gin, throwing darts at a picture of the Prime Minister and threatening to bite him in a very private place.

Responding to the claims the PM said vehemently “I did not have sexual relations with that pig!

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