Richard Dawkins believes in Santa

Richard Dawkins by Shane Pope

Professor Richard Dawkins has said that he believes in Santa and we don’t need proof of his existence.

Dawkins said to a group of chinless toffs in some debating room Oxford University “Santa is real because he used to put pressies under the tree and I saw him do it and after many years of trying I have actually captured him”.

The arch atheist finally spotted Santa last December after spending every Christmas for the past 65 years waiting for him but only managing to trap him by changing his Santa bait.

“In the past I had used mince pies, sherry and a glass of milk to trap him but this year I had a flash of inspiration and altered my tact and left rather a naughty girly mag by the tree”.

“Santa was mid-shuffle when I managed to get the net over him and drag him down to the cellar where he is now held in solitary confinement,”

“I have managed to pacify him by reading out excerpts from my latest book ‘How to remove all hope from humanity in 10 easy steps’ and I am hoping that after another six months he will eventually not believe in himself”.

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After being pressed by the audience for proof of Santa’s capture, Richard Dawkins’s reply came as a bit of a surprise “I don’t need to show you anything, you just need to believe me and have faith in what I say safe in the knowledge that there is a Santa and he lives in my cellar”.

Cynthia Smallpox of the London School of Biological Fluid Emanating from a Duck has questioned Dawkins’s findings saying “This is ludicrous and proof that Dawkins is a fraud, we all know that Santa only plays with his pudding on Boxing Day so the chances of finding him indulging in solo gratification between Christmas eve and Christmas day are almost zero”.

Richard Dawkins by Shane Pope

Richard Dawkins by Shane Pope

Image by Shane Pope from Austin, United States (Richard Dawkins, original resolution) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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