Dirk, a seven year-old fairy penguin, was having a quiet night in at Sea World on Queensland’s Gold Coast, with his girlfriend Peaches when he was accosted by two drunken Welshmen bent on ‘having a good time’.

The two Welshmen, together with a friendly local, then whisked poor Dirk away for a night of excitement and unbridled passion leaving poor Peaches all alone.

What were we to do?” asked one of the Welsh penguin-nappers “we went into the park looking for a little action but couldn’t find any sheep” he said.

The sharks didn’t look very inviting” piped up the other “so when we saw Dirk it was like lust at first sight. And as we hadn’t brought our wellies, something smaller and more manageable was called for anyway” he added.

Yep” said the first “mobile pocket sized pootang so to speak. Tailor made for getting out and keeping in a hotel room”.

But it all went a bit pear shaped when they awoke hangover-ridden and found that Dirk was not only a bloke but that he was also a bit of a ten-pinter.

So the pair did the best they could to tidy the bird up, gave him a few dollars for his trouble and sent him on his way.

The trouble is that the law took a bit of a dim view of the pairs antics and fined them $1,000 each.

A bit of an expensive night out” said one “we normally only stump up £10-£20 quid each for a good time”.

Well I’m back with my girlfriend Peaches again” said Dirk “I just hope she can understand why I waddle so slowly and that I might not float as well as I did for while yet”.

Fairy Penguins at Sea World

Fairy Penguins at Sea World by Figaro

Image by Figaro at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons