The left wing has taken heed of Jeremy Corbyn’s call for more grown-up politics in the UK
Instead of just crying and moaning when they don’t hear what they want to hear, the left has now advanced onto using real grown-up swear words, throwing eggs and wearing masks.
“This of course is a far cry from childish school-type debating” said one activist as he quickly emptied an entire box of twelve eggs, one by one, in the direction of a passing Tory. Seeing that he had ruined the Conservative’s new suit, he jumped up and down in a very adult fashion shouting “Na, Na, Na, Na, Na!” before giving the obligatory mature V-Sign and running away.
One activist named Bill Smith of Karl Marx Street, Lower Boring, who wanted to remain anonymous, had decided to wear a pig mask, which I must report made him look far more intelligent as soon as he donned it. He told me that he and his mates would be “taking the debate to the right wing scum” as he gathered his eggs and flour. Another couple said that the “Filthy Tories had it coming to them” as they stirred the tar and clutched a sack of feathers.
In one street a stocks was being prepared for a debate later that evening when “a Tory will be debating with some vegetables”. But it wasn’t made clear to me which of the activists were the vegetables.