Author: Joe-Bloggs

We should pay BBC-style licence fee for Facebook

Facebook tax of £5,000 raises outcry Claims that Facebook paid nearly £5,000 tax on profits of £28.5 million last year have been met with outrage after millions of users said it was disgusting that this useful public service paid any tax at all. [adsenseyu1]protesters turned out in their hundreds of thousands across the UK to express their anger at the unfair taxation of such a monument to modern cultural living. “In fact,” said one avid Facebook user “we should be paying a licence fee to use it, just like we pay one to use the BBC.” Since the Facebook...

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‘Extreme Phone Pinching’ Declared Cruel and Inhumane

Human rights groups have come out in force against the latest craze to hit the streets – ‘Extreme Phone Pinching’ [adsenseyu1]“We just don’t know what physical and mental damage is being done to these poor smartphones” said a representative of the Royal Society for the Protection of Mobile Devices, “We could end up, damaging them for life, if not physically then at least on a mental level”. This new fad is designed to test the resolve and opposable thumb and finger strength of phone users, who ‘pinch’ the phone and hold it over some danger such a cliff edge...

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The Left Wing in a More Grown-Up Politics

The left wing has taken heed of Jeremy Corbyn’s call for more grown-up politics in the UK [adsenseyu1]Many in depth and grown-up conversations could be seen taking place in Manchester between Conservative Party members gathering for their conference and left wing activists such as trades unionists and CND supporters. Instead of just crying and moaning when they don’t hear what they want to hear, the left has now advanced onto using real grown-up swear words, throwing eggs and wearing masks. “This of course is a far cry from childish school-type debating” said one activist as he quickly emptied an...

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“I want to bomb Assad …. or do I?” says David Cameron

“I know that I recently wanted to help those nice ISIS people and Bomb Assad to hell and back,” said the UK Prime Minister, David Cameron, “but, call me Mr Flip Flop, I think I’ve changed my mind.” [adsenseyu1]Sources close to the Prime Minister say that he has removed the Assad picture from the No 10 dart board and is now composing sonnets to send to Syria’s Assad and Vladimir Putin, the president of Russia. The PM is now supporting Putin and Assad against ISIS, a state of affairs unthinkable as far back as yesterday when he poo-pooed the...

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Green Party says everyone will have a yurt

The Green Party has declared at its annual conference that housing is a basic human right and that everyone is therefore entitled to a state yurt. [adsenseyu1]The Green Party said that its conference had “…voted to explore innovative ways to tackle homelessness, recognising that many rough sleepers have multiple needs”. Pointing to the 67,000 homeless people in the UK at present the Green Party leader, Natalie Bennet, said that the homeless number had gone up 12 percent. “We will end this shameful state of affairs.” She said “We will, if elected, ensure that everyone is given a plot of...

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