Author: Joe-Bloggs

Scientists discover eating a healthy diet will not make you immortal like Connor MaCLeod

Scientists from Brothelwhite College in Cambridge have confirmed the leaked report is valid and that eating a healthy diet will not prevent aging or living for ever like the Highlander. [adsenseyu1]Professor Ian Roddenberry said “After spending £65 million on research we have come to the controversial conclusion that lettuce and tomatoes will not keep the Grimm Reaper away“. “After today’s leak we have been forced to comment on this, however with another £20 million of public funding we should be able to confirm the possibility that we are incorrect“. Matilda Cougar who is the presenter of the all female television program, Menopausal Ladies briefly...

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Tony Blair’s conscience has been found

Tony Blair’s conscience has been found inside the mind of a Tibetan boy who is said to be Mr Blair’s conscience reincarnated. [adsenseyu1]The unexpected discovery was made in Lhasa when a young boy ran home crying to his mother saying that he made a terrible mistake going to war with Iraq and invading Afghanistan. Tibetan government official Mr Ommmmmm told the Joe Bloggs Times “we are convinced this young man is the reincarnation of Tony Blair’s conscience, he is even making mandalas depicting him standing in front of the united nations begging for forgiveness only to sweep the mandala away and...

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So You’re a Rich Banker

So you’re a rich banker …. 1. So you’re a rich banker, and we gotta thank ya for stealing our money and honey 2. you have the upper hand and the fat of the land is no stranger to you 3.The rich one percent want the rest in a tent, eating food parcels at best. 4. With offshore banks overflowing, the rich are all sowing, the money on their own fertile ground 5. but the rest of us starve, in the great stinking marsh, of an unequal austerity. 6. Don’t give me no trickle down as you drive into...

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New Born Babies to be ‘Human’ not ‘Male’ or ‘Female’

Now that Germany has decided to allow parents of children of indeterminate sex to leave the gender entry on their birth certificates blank the authorities have decided to go one step further. [adsenseyu1]Those children born as ‘intersex‘ with a mixture of male and female chromosomes in Germany will no longer have ‘male’ or ‘female’ on their birth certificates. This will be left blank to allow the child to choose when they are old enough. But in a ground-breaking move, the European Union is thought to be taking this a step further and have the gender entry in all birth...

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Subsidies for Sweatshops

The chancellor has hailed his trip to China as a great success and said that we have much to learn from the Chinese. We must become more ambitious as a nation in order to compete with countries such as China he said and has come up with a raft of policies to help us forge our way confidently in the world again. The first of these is a new flagship policy of ‘Subsidies for Sweatshops’ (SS). This will mean pumping billions of money from the public purse into private companies that provide work, accommodation and food for their workers...

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