Many of our best known stars have come out and said that the BBC commentary of Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations was perfectly pitched for the UK public.

The BBC was said to be delighted that coverage of the event was branded as ‘inane’, ‘celebrity driven’, ‘low grade’ and ‘drivel’, which means that it fits in perfectly with just about all other forms of popular entertainment that the people of modern Britain lap up.

We are so pleased that major stars recognise the great lengths we go to when trying to meet the expectations of our viewers” said a BBC spokesman.

The praise of the BBC’s ongoing drive to push the standards of broadcasting ever lower to make sure that it served only the basest of British culture were led by Stephen Fry and Jonathan Dimbleby.

Stephen Fry put his thoughts down on Twitter thus: “Has the BBC ever presented a more mind-numbingly tedious programme in its history?” Testament to the good use to which the licence fee is being put as the corporation further squeezes the requirement of its watchers to think from all aspects of its programmes, he went on to say.

And Jonathan Dimbleby applauded the weekend’s broadcasting saying: “My father Richard would have loved this weekend”.

Viewers were also delighted saying that the BBC reflected their view that the only things that mattered were what royalty and stars were wearing. This, they said, was far more important and interesting than any historical context, which would require the audience to possess an attention span far longer than the BBC’s broadcasting was now designed for.

We have to cater for the modern public” said BBC’s head of Dumbing Down, Lord Fauntleroy of Snobville, “we are not here to just cater for the people who could afford to go to public school anymore. Even poor people have television sets these days you know and they have been educated by our modern school system. We therefore have to keep things as low-brow as we can. After all” he continued “when 99% of people only want sound-bites and pretty shiny things then who are we to deprive them?

Stephen Fry

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