Markets have rallied because they can and nothing in the world can stop them, not even Superman or the New Avengers.

Europe is on the precipice of economic collapse and not single political party in the Eurozone can form a cohesive government yet markets have rebounded because they see no reason not to.

Mark Sprincleton from Morally Questionable Asset Management told The Joe Bloggs Times “We have seen great buying opportunities in Eastern Asia where there has been a devaluation in everything and no prospect for recovery in the next 300 years”.

“We are telling our clients to put all their money into the Australian housing market which is bursting in order to maximise their exposure to an emerging crisis, this has seen a direct increase in the value of for sale signs and these signs are where the real wealth lies”.

The FTSE 100 jumped 100 points today as a new strain of the Black Death swept across France and Belgium the reason for this dramatic rise in the top 100 UK companies valuation is due to the diminished exports to the rest of the world by France and Belgium creating employment opportunities for unemployed UK workers to form a Viking style raiding party and plunder the abandoned commodities.

The DOW Jones also had a good day on news that Yellowstone National Park is about to explode thanks to the super volcano lying underneath it.

One Wall Street Trader told JBT “Just think about all that volcanic rock that will be released, we could make a new luxury island out of it in the middle of the Atlantic”.

“I am buying shares in all materials that have yet to be ejected from the earth’s mantle in the next 120,000 years”

Cheif Economist for Capitalised Bank, Reinhart Umbrella said “This madness cannot continue, we must not forget our main income stream, the tax payer, in these turbulent times where varying degrees of obscene profit are guaranteed”.



Philippine stock market board-by Katrina.Tuliao

By Katrina.Tuliao [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons