The Speaker of the House of Commons, in his capacity as the Chair of the Commons Commission, has decided to interfere in the rights of MPs to get sozzled whilst attending Parliament.

This should be fought on all levels. It is a time honoured tradition for MPs to get drunk, with the ultimate example being that saviour of the nation, Winston Churchill. This is a state MPs should strive for, not avoid.

But more importantly there are the dangers that MPs NOT drinking pose to the rest of society.

We all know that they can’t make good decisions anyway, so why not ply them with drink? That way they’ll either pass out without making a vote or decision and if they do it won’t make much difference anyway.

We know from addiction studies that when a source of supply is removed, the subject then moves on to find a new source. We could therefore see MPs begin to migrate further into Westminster City and, heaven forbid, even further afield in order to feed their habits, which could mean that they mix with ordinary people and this is not to be tolerated in modern British politics.

After the Prescott engagement with the public and the Eric Joyce head-butt affair, the best place for MPs is behind the highest fence you can erect. The thought of them roaming free in search of alcohol is horrific. We should therefore ensure that they are not tempted out of their Westminster enclosure; so providing a plentiful supply of their staple booze is very desirable. An intravenous supply would be the preferable solution.

Politicians can then also stand proud (if they can stand unsupported) and proclaim that they are doing their bit to support British (drinks) industry.

It might also be far cheaper and less damaging for the nation if they were just permanently p****d.


MP resting in Westminster

MP ‘resting’ in Westminster

Image by Robby! from Denver, USA (at rest 2) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons