The Queen has been forced to cancel her trip to Wales celebrating St David’s day because she couldn’t give a shit about the place.

Queen Elizabeth the 2nd made the announcement shortly before she was due to arrive in Wales after a serious bout of apathy came over her like the ejaculation of a thousand bulls on Viagra.

Creepy house issued a statement saying “Her Majesty is unfortunately unable to honour  her commitments to the people of Wales and their culture seeing as she is already their hereditary ruler and they can all go and fuck themselves”

“She would rather stay in London in her nice big house and give some paedophiles their well deserved knighthoods”

Gwen Jones from Bent Egg-Whisk in the Cynon Valley said “This comes of no surprise to the people of Wales after the incident last time she visited and spat in my mothers face and cocked her leg up urinating against a lamppost outside the police station ”

It is expected that as way of compensating the people of Wales for her absence Queen Elizabeth will send life size effigies of herself and the Duke of Edinburgh made out of solid gold to travel the length and breadth of the Wales via helicopter with ‘God save our gracious Queen’ blasted over a loud-hailer all paid for out of the Welsh language funding budget paid for by the people of Wales.

Elizabeth II (PD)

Elizabeth II (PD)

Image by NASA/Bill Ingalls [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons